Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Melon

This melon flavored candy has been well received by the candy eaters, although lately only one person -- a high level functionary whose identity shall remain undisclosed -- has been actively seeking it out. Aside from the word "melon," the only other English words on the package are "fruity cocktail." They mean it. This candy is made with natural flavors.

It is also the only candy known to be associated with mouth injuries. The investigation was eventually closed with a finding of "improper mastication" -- what do you expect from a person who thinks plastic dolls eat lemon candies?

This may be the last melon candy for a while, as my source appears to have stopped carrying them. Indeed, at press time there is only one in the bowl, so act accordingly.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The pictures, though representative of the subjects in question, act merely as signifiers and lack artistic quality. Your readership expects, nay, demands more. Please upgrade to higher resolution photographic equipment and utilize the requisite artistry we all know you possess.

Unknown said...

i demand a scratch n' sniff feature. and more orange gummies.